The Game of Questions.

The Game of Questions, from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, by Tom Stoppard, ©1967.

Questions is a game which consists in each party responding to the other's question with a question. It takes 3 points to win a game, and points may be claimed by catching the other player in a foul. Fouls are as follow:

Dialogue by Tom Stoppard.

ROSENCRANTZ: We could play at questions.
GUILDENSTERN: What good would that do?
ROS: Practice!
GUIL: Statement! One-love!
ROS: Cheating!
GUIL: How?
ROS: I hadn't started yet!
GUIL: Statement. Two-love.
ROS: Are you counting that?
GUIL: What?
ROS: Are you counting that?
GUIL: Foul! No repetitions. Three-love. First game to--
ROS: I'm not going to play if you're going to be like that.
GUIL: Whose serve?
ROS: Hah?
GUIL: Foul! No grunts. Love-one.
ROS: Who's go?
GUIL: Why?
ROS: Why not?
GUIL: What for?
ROS: Foul! No synonyms. One-all.
GUIL: What in God's name is going on?
ROS: Foul! No rhetoric! Two-one.
GUIL: What does it all add up to?
ROS: Can't you guess?
GUIL: Were you addressing me?
ROS: Is there anyone else?
GUIL: Who?
ROS: How would I know?
GUIL: Why do you ask?
ROS: Are you serious?
GUIL: Was that rhetoric?
ROS: No.
GUIL: Statement! Two-all. Game point.
ROS: What's the matter with you today?
GUIL: When?
ROS: What?
GUIL: Are you deaf?
ROS: Am I dead?
GUIL: Yes or no?
ROS: Is there a choice?
GUIL: Is there a God?
ROS: Foul! No non-sequiters, three-two, one game all.
GUIL (seriously): What's your name?
ROS: What's yours?
GUIL: I asked you first.
ROS: Statement. One-love.
GUIL: What's your name when you're at home?
ROS: What's yours?
GUIL: When I'm at home?
ROS: Is it different at home?
GUIL: What home?
ROS: Haven't you got one?
GUIL: Why do you ask?
ROS: What are you driving at?
GUIL (with emphasis): What's your name?!
ROS: Repetition. Two-love. Match point to me.
GUIL (siezing him violently): WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
ROS: Rhetoric! Game and match!

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